“You can see it’s not normal, though, can’t you?” my husband asked. A few days ago the Jehovah’s Witnesses popped by with a leaflet urging me to read some Bible verses. My response was to flip through my Bible looking up the verses, while getting annoyed that they’d supplied a reference for looking them up rather than just printing the relevant verses.
“I mean, it’s only a short bit. They could easily have fitted it all into the actual leaflet.”
“What are you doing?”
“It’s not as if you’d have any copyright issues with the Bible. I mean, the authors are all dead.”
Last year I wrote about smartphones as enablers of antisocial noise levels:
Dear [insert name of power company here],
I’m currently looking for electricity suppliers for my vibrant, up-and-coming house and I came across your website. We’re looking for an electricity supplier who can power the fridge, the washing machine and other electrical appliances. We want someone who can deliver electricity quickly as required, ideally in a no-fuss quirky way that “fits” with our house style.
“I had a headache for five days in that week.” During the parliamentary recess in February this year, MP Helen Goodman set herself the challenge of spending just £18 a week on food. She had received lots of messages from constituents worried about the bedroom tax (which hadn’t yet come in) and decided to see for herself what it would be like to survive on the resulting lower income.
Don’t tell me not to run in the station.
Announce my platform well in advance so that if I reach the station in good time, there’s no need to hurry at any point.
Signpost my platform properly so I don’t have to run around as I struggle to find it.
Hire more staff. A 20-minute queue to buy my ticket turns “plenty of time” into “maybe I can make it if I sprint”.